,.:'`':., 9/19/06 ,.:'`':.,
~*º Mood: emo º*~

I can't take it anymore. This is taking way too much of a toll on me.
Time differences suck.
School sucks.
Crying over this sucks.
I feel like I've basically lost my boyfriend... I honestly don't even feel like we're together anymore, like we're just good friends that happen to say I love you.
I love him so incredibly much, but this is just way too much for me.
He keeps promising it'll get better, when in reality, it's gotten worse. Much worse.
I'm lucky if I talk to him for half an hour a night.
I'm lucky if I get to see him on the webcam for 5 minutes a week.
Neither of us are even sure if he's coming out for Christmas anymore, and I know that if he doesn't, our relationship is over. We've already basically discussed it.
And knowing my luck, he's going to be lazy up until a month before, and he won't he able to come. That'll be the end of this.

A comment was made last night that really hurt me, but I can't confront it out of fear of a fight. I never want to get into a fight with him, because we're too good for that- we're above that.
I don't know if he meant what he said, or, as Aaron said, he just wasn't thinking.
I honestly hope Aaron's explanation is right. If he meant what he said... wow, that would be horrible.
I know it's true, what he said, but the fact that my own boyfriend would point it out really hurts a lot.

Anyways.
Even though I know no one reads this anymore, I still write.
Whatever... maybe it'll be worth it one day.

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